Market Meltdown: The Game

Daniel Drew,  12/18/2014


If you thought Monopoly arguments were bad, you haven't seen the chaos of Market Meltdown.

Market Meltdown, produced by Clarendon Games, is a combination of Monopoly and Cards Against Humanity. Market Meltdown trivializes the downfall of the middle class and the suffering of the 2008 financial crash by turning it into a board game for the elite. Unlike the 3 hour binges characteristic of Monopoly, Market Meltdown allegedly takes no more than 40 minutes because the crash happens so quickly.

Players get to become traders who bet millions on behalf of their banks. As the game wears on, you are forced into even more desperate bets to stay afloat. Your game piece is a private jet. Some of the squares you can land on include Data Wipe, Go Rogue, Arbitrage, Financial Regulator, Luck, and Bankerís Bonus. The stock market is represented by a roulette wheel.

Market Meltdown costs $30 and is a hit with British investment bankers. It is a great Christmas present for your Patrick Bateman type of friends.

Merry Christmas from the 1%. May your 401k go to zero, may your house be foreclosed on, and may you lose your job. Oh - and happy new year.